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202 ways to be jewsus
Be a cunt to a lot of people. # Have a massive schlong. # Have a best friend like bex. # Send super dashing shower selfies. # Get stuck down a mine. # Win a fancy dress competition with the best friend. # Feed billy the goat. # Escape the camp. # Avoid Hitler at all costs # Go running weekly. # work at a garage. # Avoid ovens and gas chambers. # Have a better PC than Bolland. # Sweat forza. # Devote yourself to pornhub. # Marry bex # Be a prick in the group chat. # Troll people online. # Go to nandos but moan because it isn't pizza hut. # Drink lots of coffee. # Quit your paper round. # Avoid any sexual or physical contact with Jack Mellor. # Watch sons of anarchy. # Go to Daisy's for coffee. # Go to Daisy's for breakfast. # Go running with Cathie. # Fall down a hill on your bike and fuck your face up. # Become a mechanic. # Send people videos of midgets kicking a small penis. # Start a porn photostream. # Wank over cherry lucoade. # Wear a jew hat. # Praise Jewsus. # Leave school at lunchtime for the new GTA update. # Eat lots of bacon. # Listen to the Foo Fighters. # Be born on June 30th. # Have really hairy legs. # Have a lighter collection. # Get really shitty wifi that drops calls. # Have an Iphoneb 4s. # Play farming simulator2. # Play ETS 2015. # Moan about not having McDonalds. # Laugh while Bolland and Tay get off. # Have an interest in cars. # Avoid trains going towards Germany # Avoid trains in general to avoid those flashbacks. # Eat lots of food to make up for the 200 calories a day rule. # Eat bare junk food. # Occasionally go running with Peter Walsh. # Send snapchats of everything but your face. #Buy an Ipad and not use it. #Buy loads of pizza. #Argue with Mr Masters. #Rek bare pussy. #Go on cycles to Bath. #Buy an Xbox One. #Go shopping with Cathie. #Go to the mill to play. #From the age of 10-13 Play at the park. #Ride a scooter as a preteen. #Hate on the majority of the population because jews are salty. #Make jew jokes about yourself. #Create a website about yourself. #Create an email ending in @muslim.com. #Send snapchats of the garage you work in to seem cool. #Annoy the shit out of people, especially Taylor. #Make inappropriate comments. #Be very racist. #Abuse Dhanuka. #Be loyal to your squad. #Be a unicorn #Obsess over old VW camper vans in media. #Go out on the piss with your squad. #Disagree with the majority of things Taylor says. #Arrange to go running with Bex and don't. #Join the Frampton Harriers. #Shout LOL really loud. #Sit on the girls side of the media class room so you and the bestie can bully people. #Have a green and orange profile picture. #Have very limited vocabulary. #Have a new watch every week. #Have no middle name. #Must have massive fleeky eyebrows. #Make boarder comments about Dhanuka and Charlie. #Have really shit signal on your phone. #Be deluded enough to believe you have a "massive shlong". #Watch film trailers and claim it's your work. #Wear a Mickey Mouse top. #Be really sarcastic. #Avoid the Nazi's. #Claim that every sexual activity is disgusting because I haven't'' done them.'' #Be a virgin. #Say "no" in a funny voice. #Sing like shit. #Have dark pubes. #Have 3 balls. #Comment on Dhanuka's race. #Be boarderline homophobic. #Edit and ruin all of Taylor's hard work. #Suck dick for money. #Add people back to the group chat when they have been removed for a reason. #Remove people from the group chat when they don't need to be. #Listen to rock and house music. #Smoke when consuming alcohol, no other times. #Get told off by Cathie for swearing at people online. #Rage quit on Xbox. #Get monthly haircuts. #Pass NVQ spanish. #Have phone calls with Mellor about how he thinks Noah sounds like a gay chat line. #Sing to Justin Bieber over Skype. #Take "mad selfies" on other people's phones. #Hide Bex's memory stick in media. #Move Taylor's bag in media. #Say you're going to go to English in spanish but end up going to media. #Be king of the jews. #Go to Pandora with your work friends so they can buy presents for their girlfriends and not buy anything for Tay and Bex because you're a peasant. #Buy pizza from a kebab shop because you're a little pussy. #Have really shit mic quality over Skype. #Go to work for the sake of it, not because you are needed. #Use strangers swimming pool. #Refuse to share a drink with anyone else because you are a little pussy. #Get AIDS. #Make a youtube channel and refuse to tell anyone the name. #Tell Kyle to send Taylor dick pics and laugh when he does it. #Love it when Taylor sings Boyz II Men. #Attempt to revise but don't really work out that well. #Ask Taylor to give you a riding lesson but never fucking do it. #Paint union jacks on your nails as a child. #Go cycling to Bath. #Go cycling. #Get rekt in the group chat. #Call Tay a retard a lot. #Never answer the phone. #Choose to shower at really inconvenient times. #Refuse to stay behind in media with Bex and Tay. #Buy hula hoops from the shop. #Don't like people's photos on instagram when requested to. #Usually supports squad. #Not cultured enough to listen to Nirvana. #Fight with Aj. #Make terrorist jokes. #Set your profile pic on facebook and leave it there for like 6 years. #Troll Bolland on his websites. #Make Peter Walsh buy you a pc for christmas. #Love life. #Meet Taylor during your runs. #Give life advice. #Scare Cathie. #Make shady comments. #Be jewish. #Have fairly shit taste in music. #Lose at 8 ball pool a lot. #Get a meow chat account and use it for one day. #Only wear skinny jeans. #Arrange to go to pizza hut but never go. #Swear a lot. #Call everyone a slut even if they aren't. #Look up random girls online and say if you would bang them. #Have no foreskin. #Be shit at driving. #Don't accept when a german man asks if you want a shower. #Don't wear striped clothing. #Don't let the man with a funny mustache shave your head. #Be irrelevant. #Have liv suck your sausage. #Avoid jack at all costs. #Wear a frampton harriers jumper everywhere. #Be annoying #Have a 150+ day snap streak.